My husband wanted to marry a girl when he was in the navy over 12 yrs ago. They never got married because she cheated on him and led him on. This girl lives in Chile, as in South America. We live in USA. He has not talked to her in 10 yrs and barely ever mentioned her. We have been happily married almost 10 yrs now and 3 kids. Suddenly she finds him on facebook a few weeks ago. He hasn't looked for her, she looked for him. No, she does not have his kid, thank God. She says she has been looking for him all this time because she said he is a "very special man" and she only wants friendship. She is married and has 2 kids. My husband is all for having a "friendship" with her on facebook even though she hurt him badly in the past, and wants to visit Chile and take me there to meet everybody someday(including her and her family-gag). He has lots of other lady friends who is his ex's friends and family. I told him I do not mind at all if he talks to them, the only person I have a problem with is his ex. He says I'm being illogical because he has no feelings for her. All this really pisses me off, and makes me heartbroken. I told him I thought all this was over and he should let her go, and she let him go. Alas, he disagrees. Who is right here? What do yu think? I've been looking online for guy friends just so I can give him a taste of what he's putting me through.
If it's an ex, it should be done with. He shouldn't be hanging on.
Your relationship and marriage is more important than keeping "friends" from past romances in it. It could be harmless, but not if it affects you. As long as he does have friends and this is the only request, sure, if this is your understanding.
My husband and I certainly do not keep in touch with any of our'exe's. and I would feel uncomfortable as well if he started chatting it up with someone else.
Listen, here's the deal. It doesn't matter how harmless it seems to anyone, if it is something that makes you feel disrespected or uncomfortable, your husband needs to stop and stop now. If you did something that made him feel that way, he would certainly hem and haw about it. Tell him that it hurts you and he doesn't need a reason or justification- if he loves and respects you he will cease.
If he continues to act like a butt head, put him on immediate P.R. until further notice! When he starts to feel neglected tell him to hop in his little canoe and paddle his selfish butt to Chile. Good luck!
Tell him to knock the bullsh*t off or there are going to be problems in this marriage.
I would have a problem with this kind of behaviour. The only ex in my life is the one that I share a daughter with.
There is no reason he should want to have any kind of relationship with a girl that he wanted to marry BEFORE you. Why are people so blind? Sure it starts off inoccently enough but do not be fooled. In all honestly do you really want your husband to be friends with a woman he was once involved with and wanted to marry? I don't think so.
And stop playing those bullsh*t games. Your not 10 right? Its dirty and mean.
You are this man's wife right? Then start being a wife and openly talk to him about how you feel.
He's putting you through hell because you are letting him.
Sorry, I would feel the same way. Something just doesn't seem right here. Maybe it's just me. I am the jealous type. Why does he want you to meet her family? That's really bazaar! I would try to give him a taste of his own medicine too! Good luck.
btw: Get some marriage counseling.
:)
Why would he want to be friends with someone who burned him, man or woman? I think he should let her go completely.
When one partner is doing something that makes the other partner uncomfortable, that particular activity comes to a screeching halt, no questions asked. Yes, it's just that simple.
Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and you would like him to stop, then tell him to get off facebook, that is trouble for married people. What is the point, young people without families ok go for it, but what is with married people feeling the need to share their info and display themselves to the world and reconnect with people who they let out of their lives. I would say quit this immature internet crap or quit me because I am not having it.
Look. best not to get all jealous and possesive - you will loose your cool and its not appealing. Think about it realistically SHE CHEATED ON HIM & HE CHOSE U... you should be happy you to have created a great life together.
Facebook brings you back together with people... if you werent ready for this you nor you husband would have joined.
You are right. He should block her.
I think your both acting immature.
He's being a selfish a$$ for not considering your feelings -
You're being pathetic and passive aggressive by stooping to highschool tactics.
I think anyone who rekindles a relationship with an ex - while married or dating someone else - is looking for trouble. Anything after "wow thanks for looking me up, I am married to a wonderful girl - good luck to you in life!" is not appropriate. I personally would be devastated and would let him know that he needs to make a decision - or I'll decide for him. End the contact and refuse any future contact with her - or I'm leaving.
Facebook in general, is a problem. It's a great way for ex's to show up out of the blue and want to be friends.
Your husband is disrespecting you by talking to this woman - he needs to nip it in the bud immediately.
Your husband needs to be told-calmly and lovingly- that whether he agrees, understands or accepts it- you do not want him having contact with her as it upsets you
This means that if he does have contact with her then he has chosen her over you-something that is UNACCEPTABLE
This is plain and simple a respect issue
As an aside- why would your husband be so obtuse that he would take you to chile to meet her and her family-Is he "out to lunch"
He needs a counselor to explain to him healthy marital boundaries and the respect of them
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