After a lot of time and talking, I'd like to think we're getting more comfrtable with each other, getting to know each other better- at least to the point where i'm not as afraid to ask about his past or feelings/fatasies and other certain questions I've been harboring in my head. And we're good for the most part, but i'm concerned on another factor. Especially because i care about him more than i have anyone else i've ever been with [and that's quite a number], sex was certainly a lot better too. I've also been with him a lot longer than anyone else by at least 5 times [ about 2 yrs including the couple months of tension filled friendship i foolishly insisted on, lol]. But now, especially after all these other issues that kept coming up between us [lying, etc] and a big break-through, it's kinda wearing at me because it seems to be getting a lot less frequent and not as... wow, if that's the right way to put it [though still good].
It can't be just my post-baby emotions- i'm not the only one who realized there was a change in him [emotionally- i know for certain he's not cheating or pining for his ex]. And i'm not certain the Lexapro he's taking is the only reason. So I don't get it. But how ironic my [technically] first *actual* deep [passionate]relationship and my drive and desire for sex is a lot stronger and the guy's the one too tired or distracted [tv, computer, games... etc] or doesn't have the drive. I mean, I love him- but once a night just about once or twice a week(and only at night) ? What's the deal? I mean, I know tho there is a baby to consider, and it can get tiring every now and then [tho oddly more for me, when i think he tends to her more], and some circumstances may have left him feeling a little low- but it seems to me there should be.... more. I don't like the feeling of being left wanting while he's all blase about the lessening amount of action. Is this what happens when people are together for more than a few months? Or when there's a kid involved? Amazon.com: The Pride and the Passion: Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra :: Whats Your Top New Years Resolution? Your Amazon.com. Todays Deals classics (2) adventure (1) frank sinatra (1) romance military (1) sophia loren (1) http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Passion-Cary-Grant/dp/B000062XF1HOME |
It sounds like you need couples counseling. Have you asked him directly about it? That is NOT what happens when your family dynamic changes but it takes more work to keep things fresh because you're always together. This website helped me a lot of the last few months and maybe it can be of some use to you too. It's not just for married ppl.
just sit him down be open,honest and vulnerable about your concerns and things that are on your heart and mind. try to be understanding about his feelings it may be something a little embarrasing for him to talk about
not always. you really need to ask him about it. from my experince, it could be several things. I have been with the same guy for six years, married for four, and when you go through this kind of thing, it could be for a lot of reasons: The Passion of Eva Cassidy:: Singer Eva Cassidy had many gifts except the gift of time. That is all the more reason to celebrate that while she was Finally after years of obscurity people are starting Go To Page: 1 2 http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/follow_your_passion/74250HOME |
1. he really IS distracted, but not just by TV. guys that aren't interested in sex could just have a lot on their minds, they tend not to share as much as we do.
2. He doesn't want to based on you're having had a baby. Sad but true, I know a lot of guys like this.
3. Maybe he doesn't feel the passion anymore, himself.
You really need to talk it out. And just as an FYI, from someone that has been there, the passion doesn't last forever. You really need something more solid than that for a relationship to stay together. Good luck.
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My husband and I have been married now for almost 8yrs and let me tell you the drain of life gets you that way. I hear you on yes we use to get it on 3-4 times a day morning noon and night and now it's more like 2-3 times a week. If you have a child together you have worries about supporting your family and then your just drain for the day also you know the person is going to be there when you go to bed and be there when you wake up. But you have to work on your marriage or relationship all the time. You need to spice it up a little every now n then sit him down and let him know how you feel. Surprise him in the shower. Give him a little action down stairs when he is on the computer. Find ways to surprise him he might be tired of the everyday crap so attack him. I do with my husband all the time. Fix yourself up throw make up and wear something a little more sexy then normal. Make him think damn she hada baby and she is still hot I need to step up my game someone else can turn her head. I think also once we have been inrelatioships so long we forget to fix ourselves up!
therapy time!
you should get married and settle down. This is a major problem. Don't let the kid suffer because you want more sex
have you been to that new web site
http://www.whatswrongwithim.com
I think they give the best advice, if you ask me
Kelli
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